This site is stupid since it's been broken for days.

One of the cheapest things a magazine can do to increase its circulation is to print issues with multiple covers and then call them "collectable." I guess this is okay if it's a magazine that you might save anyway, but when TV Guide does it, it's just stupid. Who really wants to save old TV Guides?

What's worse is that TV Guide doesn't even limit itself to TV shows. They recently just had a "Star Wars" set of covers. Hello! You're TV Guide, not MOVIE Guide.

The latest stupid thing that TV Guide has done is a set of Elvis covers. Now I do realize that there is a TV movie coming out about Elvis, but the covers have nothing to do with this movie. The covers show the real Elvis, not the actor in the Elvis movie. The issue also comes with, get this, an Evlis music CD. Now they're CD Guide.

A magazine cover should be promoting what's inside the magazine. When you can't even do that, you're just whoring yourself to sell magazines.

Yes, it's wrong to derive pleasure from the misfortunes of others, but these stories make me smile:

• Aaron Carter's SUV hits a mattress and explodes - First of all, the guy is fine, so it's okay to make fun of him. Second of all, he's Aaron Carter, so it's okay to make fun of him. Third, his Cadillac Escalade hits a mattress and explodes. It's like straight from The Simpsons or something.

• Kobe Bryant's Jersey is no longer popular - It's satisfying to know that rapists aren't popular anymore. We'll just leave it at that.

• Ashlee Simpson booed off stage at Orange Bowl - There is nothing worse than a manufactured celebrity, and there is nothing better than the public rejecting that celebrity. The only sad thing is that it took such an obvious blunder for people to see through her charade. There are plenty of other no-talent celebrities out there that need a similar Milli Vanilli treatment.

The football stadium for the San Francisco 49ers was originalyl named "Candlestick Park" since it was built on Candlestick Point, on the San Francsisco Bay. Like so many stadiums, it was renamed after a corporation that paid big bucks. We had to endure "3COM Park" for may years, although most of us still called in Candlestick Park (or "The Stick") since no one paid us any money.

Fast forward to today, and the stadium is now called "Monster Park." I had assumed that monster.com, the job company, had paid for it. However, only recently did I learn that Monster Cables, who makes stereo cables, paid for the name change. I really have to laugh at this since after paying all of that money, they don't even get the proper name recognition. I can't be the only person to make that same mistake.

Let me also get in my dig at Monster Cables. They are not worth the extra money. Maybe there are people who are part dog who can hear the difference, but not me. The only thing I like about the cables is that they are so large that they don't tangle. But on the bad side, the connections come off to easily. I own four cables and all eight ends have come off and have required recrimping. What the hell am I paying for? Also, if you own a system with an optical output, don't even think about paying the extra money for a Monster version. This is a digital signal, so either the bit is 1 or it's 0, there is no "in between." You're bits will either make it through, or they won't. Thus, if a cheaper cable works, you will not be able to improve on it. Also, electrical shielding is pointless with an optical cable, so don't fall for that salesman trick either.

I've created a whole new blog devoted to the subject of Hollywood's disdane for characters named Kevin. Visit the new Hollywood Hates Kevins blogsite.

Today is election day in the US, so naturally with all sorts of hot topics to talk about today, I chose to complain about soap. Yup, soap. My wife bought some "deluxe" soap, which may, or may not, be nice soap. I'll never know since it's just too big to handle. This stuff has the mass of 4 or 5 bars of normal soap, and it's in the shape of a football. Maybe it's easy to hold when it's new, and dry, and in a plastic wrapper. But when it's wet and soapy (did I mention that it's soap?) it's impossible to hold with just one hand. This is definitely not soap that you want to take to prison with you. The only way to not drop it is to use both hands, which is okay if you only want to wash the front of your body. But my body has a backside to it, and I can't reach many places on the backside of my body with both hands. To make matters worse, since I don't use it much, it never shrinks, so it never gets any easier to handle. A soapy catch-22.

This show is pissing me off more and more. I used to watch it all of the time, but then I got tired of it and stopped. Recently, it snuck back onto my TV and all of the reasons why I hate that show started to flood back.

The worst thing about this show is its phoniness. Whatever they are talking about is "it" and if you're not into "it" then you're a loser. They talk about anything like it's the most important thing in the world: Will static cling affect the Oscars? Stay tuned! How can these talking heads stay so interested in such asinine things day in and day out? It's no wonder than John Tesh went crazy and started writing all of that horrible music!

I also hate the celebrity worship that this show has. It's bad enough that they fawn over these people like they were gods, but when they start asking them to comment on matters that these morons know nothing about, I just want to slap Mary Hart around. Anna Nicole Smith! What do you think about the Laci Peterson murder trial?

The second worse thing about this show is that it's all filler and fluff. I'm not talking about the gossip and news, I expect that. I'm talking about the constant teasers and in-show promos. A 20 second "news" story will be teased four or five times, showing 10 seconds of the story each time. If you stripped out all of the commercials and promos, the show would only last ten minutes.

So, do youself a favor and stop watching this stupid show. Over a year, you will reclaim 5.4 days of your life!

I've always had a hard time explaining to my hippie parents why I'm a Republican. I've had a similarly hard time explaining to many other Republicans why the GOP has major problems and why I'm voting for Kerry (or techincally, against G.W. Bush). Leave it to my friend, the Mighty Wombat to write a wonderful essay that expresses my own ideas so well. It's like he ripped my own thoughts from my brain and wrote then down.

The only thing that I would add to his writing is that GOP's problems stem from the unholy alliance it has with the bible-thumping religious right. These morally superior idiots have hijacked the party and keep it from achieving its true goals. Most of the problems detailed by Gordon (the Mighty Wombat) can be attributed to said idiots.

CBS is going to launch another Fat-Guy-Hot-Wife show, this one called Center of the Universe starting John Goodman, king of the fat guys. I already talked about all of the existing shows like this, and now there is another. Sheesh!

I'm not the first person to notice this trend, this article also mentions it in passing.

The irony is that Goodman used to star in the original "Fat Man and Fat Wife" show, aka Roseanne, that gave the whole blue collar sitcom genre its start. We've now come full circle, just with a little liposuction.

I've been a Kevin for almost 40 years now (yikes!) and I've noticed something. Hollywood hates Kevins. I don't mean actors named Kevin, there's no problem there. Kevin Spacey, Kevin Klein, Kevin Costner, Kevin Bacon, Kevin Smith...there is a pretty good list of Kevin's getting work out there. Hell, Britney Spears even married a guy named Kevin, so we're good there. The problem is with the writers. They hate Kevins. Almost always, characters named Kevin are the jerk, the outcast, the weirdo or the psycho.

I first noticed it long ago watching an episode of the original Star Trek called "The Naked Time." In this episode, many of the crew go crazy, but in the end, it's a guy named Kevin who wants to crash the Enterprise in to a planet while singing Irish folk songs. That always stuck with me that a guy with my name was the bad guy.

Only recently have I started keeping track of how often I see this, but I have seen it all of my life. Here is a short list of the "bad" Kevins that I've found:

• Star Trek: "The Naked Time" As previously noted, Lt. Kevin Reilly goes bonkers.
• TV show "Just Shoot Me": Big, dorky, mail room clerk named Kevin appears in several episodes.
• Movie "Meet The Parents": Pam's ex-boyfriend Kevin, who you're supposed to hate.
• The Who's "Tommy": song "Cousin Kevin" about Tommy's sadist cousin who beats him up alot.
• SNL with Tom Green: MC Kevin Gustovson, geeky white rapper
• SNL with Chris Parnell: Kevin the "Android Man", a geeky white street performer
• TV show "Angel": Serial killer named Kevin, who is also impotent! Yeah!
• "South Park" and band "Primus": Song "Mephisto and Kevin" about Gopher Boy Kevin. Oh, and there are even plush toys!
• Comic strip "Robotman" (now called "Monty"): The original Robotman had a nerd sidekick named Kevin.
• "Providence": Sydney is stalked by a patient named Kevin.
• "Monk": Monk has a weird neighbor named Kevin. And this is Monk, remember.

I will continue to update this site based on any new Kevin bashings found. I know there are lots more. Tell me if you find any!

In fairness, I must note the positive characters named Kevin:

• "Joan of Arcadia": Her brother is named Kevin. He is in a wheelchair, but he's a good guy.
• "Kevin Hill": Wow a whole new show based on a guy named Kevin. And he's played by Taye Diggs! We'll see if the show lasts. :)

Update: CSI: Miami: Episode "Legal" - The killer ends up being a guy named Kevin, who is socially inept and an asthmatic. He kills a girl out of rage who was actually trying to help him.

Update: 04Nov04: "CSI": Episdode "What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?": The serial killer who escaped justice in a previous episode is named Kevin Greer. Not only is he is psychotic serial killer, but he has very bad teeth and winds up killing himself.

Update: I've created a whole new blog devoted to the subject of Hollywood's disdane for characters named Kevin. Visit the new Hollywood Hates Kevins blogsite.